"And that's England's finest victory over the Germans since the war."

We know what you meant, Motty. We hope...


"If David Beckham claims that goal, it will be only the second goal he has scored for England... well, no, it won't be... it'll be the fourth or fifth free kick, I think... but certainly the one in Sapporo is the one we remember most in recent times... but how often has he changed the direction of the game for England?"

How often has Motty changed the direction of that sentence?


"Middlesbrough are withdrawing Maccarone the Italian, Nemeth the Slovakian and Stockdale the right back."
Motty invents a new nationality.

"Trevor Brooking's notes are getting wet with the rain. I must lend him some of the perspex I always bring to cover mine."

A Disturbing Window into Motty's Soul

"I've just heard that in the other match Real Madrid have just scored. That makes the score, if my calculations are correct, 4-3! But I'm only guessing!"

Maths never was Motty's strong suit.

“I can’t fault Mark Palios too highly.”

Fair enough.


"I have to say, he's done as well as anyone out there."

Not at all patronisingly, Motty is impressed with Japanese player Nakata's performance for Roma against Liverpool last season.

"Brazil - they're so good it's like they are running around the pitch playing with themselves."

A touch of the Jimmy Magees, who suggested that Ardiles stroked the ball like it was part of his anatomy.

"And what a time to score. 22 minutes gone."

We suppose, ironically, 22 is one-third of 66 and England have one-third the number of world cups the German's do.

"You couldn't count the number of moves Alan Ball made...I counted four and possibly five."

Abacas-wielding Motson always keeps on top of things for his more mathemathically challenged audience.

"Nearly all the Brazilian supporters are wearing yellow shirts - it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour!"

Kaleidoscopes not much cop around Motson way.

"That's an old Ipswich move - O'Callaghan crossing for Mariner to drive over the bar."

It's actually true, Bobby Robson perfected that manoeuver back in his Ipswich days. He's lately been working on a sequel involving Shola Ameobi and Kieron Dyer..

"...so different from the scenes in 1872, at the cup final none of us can remember."

What is it about 1872... such a forgettable game.

and the classic

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the yellow strip."